Oh, memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.– Sheldon Cooper
A game suggested by a friend:
Using the words
Create a very short story
Drop that shit in my ask box. : D
giggly-cammie-cat: beesquid: maxterbate: maxterbate: Why dont you guys want Yahoo to buy Tumblr? Free chocolate milk for everyone i have just been informed on this the worst part is that its not even milk its chocolate…drink whats that? we just dont know chocolate water? Distilled from captured CHOCOLATE RAIN, of course.
I don't know how, but I've become slightly...
My name on there is oinkerbob if you want to hit me up.
fangirlingoned: rainbowreverie21: my-placenta-is-on-fire: scarecrowartist: bekkaa: sweeter-than-tea: Did you know that by spelling the english word SOCKS outloud, you are also saying the spanish phrase Eso si que es, which means “it is what is is”. My spanish teacher told us this last year and I will never forget it can we say socks instead of yolo? yes. Mama, just killed a...
fuqyourlies: reasonswhydansafail: sleepingartist: urbancatfitters: if i ever start a band i’m going to name it “music” and then it will be literally impossible to find any of our songs on the internet the first album : “Unknown album” the hit single: “track 1” album art Some people wanna watch the world burn
The End of Every Assassin's Creed Game
Desmond: what the fuck
Me: what the fuck
Oh. My. God.
In addition to the inevitable "secret bookshelf door" in my future home leading to a workshop/laboratory/armory, I just realized another way I can hide such an entrance, namely, underneath a kitchen island.
1) How did I not recognize this? And
2) Why do such random-ass things pass through my head?
Open Ses-Titty!– Cr1TiKaL
justintheallan: soycrates: endreal: avatar-addiction: nicotineenema: Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in a happy, friendly tone. Shout out to Guinea Pigs which...
Far Cry 3 time!
Life has finally slowed down enough for me to pick up that game and try it. I did a little co-op with some people awhile ago, and it was a lot of fun. I'm probably going to commentate my single player run and post some silliness from it in a YouTube video, as well. =D
amazingfhb: walk up to the club and i’m like “FELICITATIONS MALEFACTORS!”
gr8brittyn: cl0ckw0rk-c0ntrivance: I KIND OF JUST REALIZED THAT JESSIE FROM TEAM ROCKET FORMS A FUCKING R WITH HER HAIR AND BODY WHY DID IT TAKE ME OVER 10 YEARS TO REALIZE THIS JAMES YOU LITTLE SHIT NOT YOU TOO
Just so we're clear
Cocaine possession: 3-5 years in prison
Crack possession: 15 years in prison
Pirating music: Civil lawsuit and/or up to five years in prison
What these little rapist shits got: One year in prison
Stealing bread: 5 years for what you did, the rest because you tried to run.
My roommate and I discovered that American Horror Story had been posted on Netflix. We had heard good things about the show so we watched the pilot. ……that was by far the oddest combination of dynamics and scenes I’ve seen in awhile. We see a burn victim and teen angst within minutes of a maid with supernatural abilities pleasuring herself. As strange as the show is, though, I’m kind of...
mentalalchemy: *AGGRESIVELY SINGS SKYRIM INTRO MUSIC*
Reblog this if its okay for your followers to...
cassjaytuck: one time my school hosted a laser tag tournament and so me and my friends went and we were owning the place until we realized one of our friends was missing. we found him building a baracade out of benches and plants at the top of the stairwell and whenever anyone approached he’d shoot at them and yell “DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING???”
You don’t know how someone really feels until you walk a mile on their...– Cr1TiKaL
Ctrl Alt Del - Sincerest apologies (2003-10-01) →
…but bow ties are cool…
Ctrl Alt Del: A Haiku →
paulmcfruity: How come everyone in Westeros knows that Jon Snow is Ned Stark’s bastard by just looking at him, but they fail to see that Joffrey is a little inbred shit?
atrainwithaflat: ohyousillypotato: i hate people but i love humanity. i hate people because they are capable of acts of mindless and meaningless violence against their own kind. i love humanity because when that violence occurs, their first instinct is to rush into the mayhem and help. Like this person too.
dreamboatsandtrenchcoats: Instead of saying motherfucker you can just say Oedipus
I nearly forgot that the movie Tremors is...
Watching it also reminds me that Reba McEntire is only one degree from Kevin Bacon.
Perhaps the greatest dialogue in Batman Beyond
(in reference to a two-way transmitter placed on Bruce Wayne by Shriek) Terry McGinnis: Tell me something: Why were you so sure those voices weren’t comin’ from you? Bruce Wayne: Well, first, I know I’m not psychotic. Terry: I hope your other reason’s more convincing. Bruce: And second, the voice kept calling me Bruce. In my mind, that’s not what I call...
Today, a friend and I overheard a conversation at Wendy’s between the manager and an employee who, without mentioning too much, seemed to be down on her luck. She had her (probably) two-year-old daughter with her, who was crying and sounded like she wasn’t feeling well, and the employee could not get back to her shift because of this. After getting our food and eating for a couple...
Freedom Bucket →
xtooyoungtocare: spockisinthetardis: lupinebrother: bigbigbigday006: spookyplaydate: halianfromplanetzork: digatisdi: When I was in preschool there was this really weird system of time-out where they’d put you in this giant plastic bucket sort of like this one: And the rule was you couldn’t leave the bucket for ten minutes. In case you didn’t know, I was what the teachers...
do you ever sometimes just college